You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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