Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize