Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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