Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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