i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
