wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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