Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
