The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
