I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
