Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
