Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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