I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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