you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
