Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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