i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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