I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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