its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize