i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
