Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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