WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize