Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I lost the right to judge tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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