I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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