Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
