I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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