I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just cropdusted the office
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
