Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
