Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do vagina's smell?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
