if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We named our party play list daddy issues
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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