She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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