About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
