There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
