Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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