girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize