Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
