What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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