I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
