after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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