I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize