My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
