my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So much rum. So many feels.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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