Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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