Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
