So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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