dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize