Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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