Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
