Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
