I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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