I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
