Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
