oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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