tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
please don't ironically join a cult
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