do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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