come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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