Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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