Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I color on your dick again?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
