We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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