you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize