I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
