I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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