Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
