Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Enjoy the penises
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
