I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he shaved USA in his pubs
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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