Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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