it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
