Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
