you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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