i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
